So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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