She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
