I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
