hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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