hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
