she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
