Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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