This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
