Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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