Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
