therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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