I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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