I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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