Hey man sorry I got all grabby
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
