His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
