so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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