I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
