the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
