I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
