I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
