just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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