I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
