Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My vagina just clenched in fear
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
