I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
