there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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