Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
