Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
They took my balls.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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