Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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