i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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