Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
