i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
