hell yes lets make some ravioli
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
