I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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