Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Your penis caused this!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
