YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
