My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
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