First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
