is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
