So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
should my penis look like a turkey
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
