I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
