Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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