I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
porn star boner night. come get it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Randomize
