It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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