He is an equal opportunity slut.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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