Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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