it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
