So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You can't just leave with hair like that
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
