Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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