Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
