Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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