It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
