I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
