I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
