You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
