ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
No subtext here. People are naked.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
